I have a real phobia about buying deli meat because you have to interact directly with a person but I’m slowly getting over it and then today I had to do it again and the guy was being all creepy so I had to pull the “I’m super into girls” card and the hope leaving his face was a little sad. But I didn’t feel bad when his next question was “Have you thought about switching?” and my response was “No, have you?”

(via owlmylove)


me on the first day of school: i have my pencil and tears ready 

(via permakinks)


relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

(via permakinks)


see that girl you just called a lesbian? is she? can you help me get her number?

(via permakinks)


if yr atheism involves belittling people’s faith and attempting to prove to everyone that god doesn’t exist don’t talk to me don’t come near me don’t breathe on me thanks

(via permakinks)


how I react when people I don’t like try talking to me

(via ruinedchildhood)